wandering thoughts

On Hats & Quitting

September 27, 2020 By Rhonda Zatezalo Leave a Comment

Wear all your hats.

One of my previous jobs was located on the construction site for large commercial buildings. During the summer of 1999 the job site was the world headquarters building of a bank, a project with a 75 million dollar budget. The place was huge. Our foreman, a fun guy with a serious work ethic received the news that some tradespeople were having trouble working through differences. He placed the hardhat on his head and said, “Not just a hardhat, also a mediators hat.” Of course, being 1999 and a rough construction site, the words were a bit less refined and probably included a cuss word, but we’ll leave the quote as is. Everyone knows the concept of wearing different hats in a job. But when does “being a hat rack” interfere with our main work?

I’ve always been a curious person and as such, I’ve worn a LOT of hats. I don’t know if I was that kid that always asked why, but I was the kid in the library, the workshop, running around outside poking my nose into every ditch or burrow. I wanted to know all the things. I’d read everything I could. At one point I could name almost every horse breed, their typical purpose, and recognize them on sight.

Often, once my curiosity was sated I’d move on to something new. This frustrated my mom to no end. She saw it as quitting, but how could I know what life was like if I didn’t try it all out?

This sampling of life hasn’t changed much through the years. It’s led me through many different jobs and a few careers. I’ve been a horse wrangler at a boy’s camp, an oil change technician, an accounts payable clerk, a seller of candles, office clerk/coordinator for that commercial construction company, web designer, graphic designer, marketing person and writer of both non-fiction and fiction. And for hobbies, I’m a gardener, a jewelry maker, a gamer, a painter, and the person who fixes all and sundry around the house. The list is almost exhausting! I like fixing or building things. It’s one of my happy places.

If something interests me, I research it until that itch is scratched. We live in the perfect age for this. Oh, me and the Dewey Decimal System and the card catalog used to be buds, but Google’s my new BFF. The funny thing is, the more I learn, the more I can’t UNlearn.

I’m a graphic designer by trade. I went to school, even got good grades. I love graphic design and enjoy creating beautiful things that communicate ideas. However, this training makes doing something simple like updating my published articles on this website a much longer process. I need to find just the right photo, have them all look uniform, then make sure the code lets them all line up properly. I can’t stop being a designer because I now make my living writing. And I can’t not tweak the code just because I’m the end user, not the coder.

It’s a funny thing to have worn so many identities through the years. And to have gotten to an age where they compete with each other when I try to finish something. How do I tell Designer-Me to shut up and just get the info on the page? How do I tell Coder-Me that I don’t NEED to relearn PSP and the newest WordPress to get things to align properly? And for that matter, how do I tell Writer-Me that the typo in my social media post isn’t THAT big a deal?

(By the way, I’ve never claimed to be a typist. Never learned, and still look at the keyboard more than half the time.) #funfact?

There are a lot of negative words to describe someone with my breadth of experience. Quitter. Dilettante. Dabbler. That first one used to really hurt me. Quitter. But the thing is, it’s GOOD to quit things that are bad for you. Smoking, realtionships, habits. That means quitting isn’t all bad. I think it’s important to remember that trying something new is good. And wisdom tells me it isn’t bad to move on to something else if the first doesn’t fit. So instead of those other labels, I’ve chosen Curiosity Junkie. Junkie has it’s own bad connotations which might trigger some people and I’m sorry for that. But it works for me. If it really bugs you let me know. I can use just “Curious.” Or maybe suggest an alternative label. My worlds are an inclusive place. I never want people to feel like they aren’t safe here.

Now I have to go fight with my designer-self to get these articles updated. I’ve a years worth to add. What’s that saying? The cobbler’s kid always goes barefoot?

What past jobs either hinder or help your current work or hobbies? I’d love to hear about them and how you deal with it.

Alignment of Focus

July 3, 2020 By Rhonda Zatezalo

It’s July 2020. Wait, what?

My last blog said something about 2018 and now we’re halfway done with this year. Yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve been in touch. I had solid plans for 2019 with lots of focus on fiction, and less focus on non-fiction. Turns out, life presented opportunities to focus on non-fiction and it was a good decision

Flash forward to now and guess what? I’ve been able to focus on my fiction and have new work ready to show you.

So, how do you get your hands on the new stories? Patreon!

Cover image showing Boston street in 1919

Many people don’t know what Patreon is or why an author would use it. (I know, they’ve asked.) So I’m going to try and answer those questions now.

Patreon is a platform that creators of all types can use to deliver content directly to their fans. Patrons (aka readers) set up an account and receive early access, exclusive stories, and behind the scenes content for as a little as a dollar a month.

Why Patreon instead of selling stories on Amazon? (or Nook, Kobo, etc.)

Right now, the stories I’m ready to share aren’t book length. Some are flash fiction, some are short stories, and others are still works in progress. Short fiction doesn’t sell well on the ebook market, and you certainly can’t sell unfinished work.

I want to provide finished stories to my fans and get some feedback on the unfinished stuff. This is where Patreon shines. It offers features you can’t find anywhere else. As a Patron, you get direct access to creators. You can customize your experience to get involved as much—or as little—as you want. Like to give feedback on stories? Great! You can. Want to just read content? You can do that too.

The benefits to creators are awesome too. One of my main goals is to be published by a large publishing house. Publishing houses and magazines have specific rules for unpublished work vs. reprints. By keeping everything behind the Patreon wall, anything I share there is still considered “unpublished.” Which makes it more enticing to publishers.

I’ve finished a new Vargen story, complete with hand-drawn cover art. It’s a fun tale that follows a Vargen traveler to the city of Boston in 1919. What should have been a simple information exchange, becomes a sticky ordeal after an explosion floods the North End. This story will be part of an upcoming Vargen anthology, but in July you can get it through Patreon.

So what do you get as my Patron? New stories every month in a variety of genres that you help choose, the ability to provide feedback, a monthly hangout with me, and a look behind the scenes into a writer’s life. I’d love for you to join me on this journey.

Become a Patron!

2018 Focus on the Positive

December 11, 2018 By Rhonda Zatezalo Leave a Comment

articles and covers of publishing credits

I’m not shy with my world views. Check my Twitter feed and you’ll see what I mean. As such, 2018 has been a hard year. The attacks on our environment, on people and our communities, they drain me. Looking through the wide-angle lens, it’s been a hard year to be empathetic and yet feel powerless. There have been a few brilliant wins, but so many losses.

Zooming in to a personal level, we’re privileged to have enjoyed many successes among the challenges. I’m writing this recap of the year because it isn’t easy for me to look past the things I didn’t do and shine a light on the things I achieved. I’d like to start a tradition–just for me–of stepping into the new year focused on what I accomplished, rather than what I didn’t finish. So here we go.

Non-Fiction

Though 2018 was supposed to be my year of fiction writing, I published more non-fiction articles for the welding industry than any previous year. In fact, in 2018 I published more pieces than the last three years combined, and all of my business revenue came from writing. I guess that makes me a professional writer, yeah? 😎

I’ve interviewed company CEOs, YouTube celebrities, and entrepreneurs who are building their dreams. I love meeting these wonderful people and telling their stories. An article I wrote about the basics of welding was named to the top 5 most read content of 2017 for The Fabricator website. A first for me. In another first, two different articles were published internationally, and one of those stories was published in three different magazines. This year I’ve enjoyed a lot of success with my copywriting.

Fiction

On the fiction side, my brain keeps telling me I’m slacking, which is why this review is important. I’ve actually accomplished a decent amount this year. I’ve written and submitted five stories, two of which were short stories for anthologies. Neither were accepted, but I can honestly say that I know why, and I’m a better writer for it. Later in the year I submitted the longer of those two stories, Truth Revolution, to a writer’s workshop at WindyCon. More about that in a bit.

Three of those stories were flash pieces for the NYC Midnight Flash Fiction contest that I like to compete in every year. My genres so far have been romance, drama, and suspense. I say so far, because I still have a day before I find out if I made it into the final round. (Fingers crossed!)

The story currently under consideration is a suspense story set in an actor’s dressing room. I wrote this one while at a convention and I have pretty high hopes for it. Of the three flash pieces, the drama story is closest to my heart. The point of view character is a senior woman dealing with dementia. I used to work with seniors in this situation, so this one fits the writer’s adage of “write what you know.” The necessary Guest came in 2nd place for that round. I’m looking forward to getting them all published, but this one specifically.

The Book

Please do not annoy the writer, she may put you in a book and kill you. — One of my favorite mugs, a gift from my brother.

Many people ask, “How’s the book going?” I finished a polished draft in August. The current working title is Unraveled: Book One of the Vargen Chronicles. I submitted a query letter and the first five pages to an online contest called Pitch Wars. Authors chosen from this submission package are mentored for two months by professionals in the book world to polish the manuscript and query package to submit to agents.

I wasn’t chosen. In fact, I didn’t get a single request for the full manuscript.

Yeah, so where’s the positivity in that? I FINISHED THE BOOK.
After three years of world building, and revising, and whining, and hard work, the Pitch Wars deadline gave me a fixed time I had to finish by. There were days I wrote more than 5,000 words– proving to myself that I’m capable of that. While I would have loved to secure a mentor, I knew I just needed a deadline, and damn it I met it. And in the process, I found out what it feels like to be my version of a ‘real writer’. (Don’t look too closely at that. We all have our self-doubts. Remember that “professional writer” comment above?)

So where is the book now? Back in revisions. After the rush of Pitch Wars, I had to catch up on other work. I set aside the book to let it “rest,” a common idea for both writers and cooks. The announcement of winning mentees was in mid-October, and I had to set it aside until then. When September went by and none of my four chosen mentors had requested the full manuscript, I knew I wasn’t going to be chosen. But life was full, and I was riding the idea of being DONE.

I rode that high a little too long. 🙂 Then one night in November, I had an epiphany. I was trying to fall asleep, but my brain was rambling as usual. Then WHAM! I had an idea. I pondered that “What if…” for a bit, then had to get up and write it down. That idea has since reshaped the book. I’m working through plotting out the changes which I believe will fix my concerns with the story. I’m excited about the big change and all that it represents, even though it means I’ll have to rewrite many scenes and revise 90% of the book.

Welcome to the writer’s life. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Travels

Sunset at the end of the shadowed road. — Heading home after one of our trips this fall.

Speaking of the writer’s life, my version includes conventions, traveling, and of course meeting other authors. We tried out a new convention at the end of June. Steve and I drove down to Chattanooga, Tennessee for LibertyCon, a smallish science fiction convention with an author’s track. Overall it was a good con, but as two progressives amongst mostly conservatives, there were a few times we felt of place. Any other year this wouldn’t even be noticed, but times are difficult.

In August we made our annual trip to GenCon in Indianapolis. This year I volunteered with the Writer’s Symposium. I had a blast seeing the inner workings of that part of the con. What a great group of people. As always, the seminars and workshops were interesting, and useful to people at every level of writing. I always recommend GenCon and the Writer’s Symposium.

Steve had to travel for work to Mississauga, Canada in September and I went along. Mostly I stayed in the hotel and wrote while he worked. I love Canada, and it was great just being there. It’s so much easier being gluten-free there.

Last month we tried another new convention. WindyCon is a smallish science fiction and writer’s convention in Chicago, practically in our back yard. Again, the networking was excellent. I love the smaller cons for this. They offered a writer’s workshop for a small cost. I would go back next year just for this, but the whole con was good. The month before, I sent my short story, Truth Revolution to the organizer. I revised it since the beginning of the year, but I knew it still wasn’t “done” so I used it as my workshop story.

That Saturday morning me and two other writers met with 3 industry professionals and an awesome moderator to go over our stories. Each of us writers got to share our feedback of the others’ work as well as receive feedback from all present. It was a great learning experience and the feedback I received on my story was very encouraging.

Well… except for the one person who told me I know nothing of grammar and my very first task after the con was to go buy a grammar book published between 1965-75 and learn how to construct sentences. At first, I was completely shaken because I’ve always considered myself a bit of a grammar nerd. But by the time she was done speaking, I realized that, though my piece wasn’t perfect, she had more issue with my STYLE of writing. I asked an editor on the panel if my assumption was correct, and overall, he agreed. **whew!** It was a great reminder of how speculative art can be and how our backgrounds inform our opinions. I still have to polish the piece before I submit for publishing, but I think it will do well.

Our next trip will be back home to Michigan in January to celebrate a late holiday with family before attending a convention in Dearborn. We’ve been to ConFusion once before and it was excellent. I’m looking forward to it.

Health and Personal Notes

I started 2018 in so much pain I couldn’t sit at my desk to write. I’ve suffered from back and neck issues for years, but November 2017 started something new. By mid-December last year, I couldn’t type, sit at my desk, or sleep in my bed. It took three months of pain medication and physical therapy before I could do those things again. By March 2018 I was still seeing doctors about it, but luckily the neurosurgeon ruled out surgery.

Meg on her perch, and Hurley underneath, watching their version of TV.

I still have bad days where I can’t be at my desk long. The pets join me in the library on those days where I relax in the recliner with my Macbook. On a good note, I learned how to use dictation software, and when it benefits me most–usually for non-creative writing. I also learned different ways to stretch and manipulate my joints when the pain gets bad. Of course, I should be doing stretches and such every day, but damn do I find keeping a schedule hard to do. 🙂

Anniversaries

On a personal note, this year is the 5th Anniversary. Of what? Two things actually. Five years ago, on October 13th, I married my soul-mate, constant companion, and love of my life. We’re still very much in love, and we support each other in the best ways. (Ok, we also enable each other in some of our bad habits, but all the best friends do, amiright?)

December 20th celebrates the 5th anniversary of my business. The focus has changed over the years, but it’s still going strong. I incorporated my business on my dad’s birthday in 2013. He’d be 78 this year but we lost him three years ago. I miss him. He always told me to chase my dreams. To be who I want. Hey Dad, I listened. <3

The Future

What does the future hold? Submitting, publishing, and lots of writing. Plans include finishing revisions on Vargen One and getting an agent to sell the series. I’ll be working to get several of my flash pieces published in magazines. My plans also include publishing more blog posts, but they’ll be a bit shorter. 🙂 I started drafting a new space opera book this fall. I’d like to finish that and plot out the rest of the Vargen Chronicles. There is so much I want to accomplish next year. I’m working on a specific plan to achieve these goals.

Several acrylic paintings. — A few of the paintings I’ve completed this year.

I’ve always had more than one hobby, and this year I focused on painting, jewelry-making, and collecting fountain pens. I finished several paintings and was brave enough to share a few on social media. I really enjoy painting. Neither painting nor jewelry-making are easy on my back or shoulders, but jewelry making is the hardest. It is very detailed work and puts a lot of strain on my neck looking down all the time. I can’t do it for long periods at a time, but I do enjoy it.

Fountain pens have become my guilty pleasure. Writing long hand with a beautiful pen with a wide nib and snazzy ink is a lovely experience. I now own a couple very special pens, have found a pen store within driving distance, and even featured pens in one of my stories. I write stories on my Mac, and probably always will, but journaling is usually long-hand.

For the rest of 2018 I’ll be making plans, finishing a few projects—including site updates, writing two short stories for anthologies, and spending time with family. I hope your year has been full of blessings, and the new year holds many more successes, a lot of love, and much joy. Happy Holidays.

Cheers!
-Rhonda

Momentum

April 21, 2018 By Rhonda Zatezalo Leave a Comment

There’s a funny thing about momentum, once it builds up, it’s hard to stop it. Of course, if you’ve taken a science or physics course, you’re thinking “Duh.” That’s a basic principal. Yeah, there’s all these great fundamental laws about an object in motion, velocity, or centrifugal force, but how many of us think of that object as a dream? You begin forward movement on that dream until you’ve got a healthy momentum going, and it’s rather difficult to bring it all to a halt. You’ve trained yourself that this is the new normal. This idea goes along with the saying that it takes 21 days (or 30 days, or however many days) to create a habit. That’s great, but lots of us think of habits as something we need to quit. For many people there’s negative emotion around the word habit. So I’ve decided to rephrase it. I don’t need to create a habit, I need to create Momentum.

This month I’ve been working on a meeting a challenge called the “1,000 Word March.” A couple of my friends and fellow writers put this challenge together and it’s been great to see people logging their word counts. Even on the days when they don’t hit that 1k. I think it’s those missed days that inspire me the most. That even when we miss the mark, the momentum we’ve been building means we’re still trying every day. We’re showing up truthfully, and without fear of judgment, saying, “I may not have written 1,000 words today, but I’m here and I’m still trying.” For me that’s powerful.

Another powerful tool is to actually see that momentum, and to understand that every step forward, every word written counts. For me a visual reminder placed where I see it every day works best. So I printed out the month of April, with places to log word counts. Every day I write gets a star. Some days have a gold star which means I wrote over 1k, other days have a red star which means I didn’t even break 500 words. But you know what? It’s the 21st of the month and there isn’t a single day without a star. THAT is the momentum I see and don’t want to break. I can’t just let it slide, because once that day is over, there’s not another chance to earn a star for that space.

Silly little mind hack? Maybe, but it’s working.

I’ve written more than 12,000 words on my novel this month, and almost 4,000 on other creative projects. I’d been at a stand still with the book. I had lots of great ideas, but not much forward movement. Now I can see the novel is almost done and ready for editing. That’s momentum, and I’m not stopping. One more star, one more week of stars, and pretty soon? All those stars mean I’m querying agents to get Vargen on the shelf of your local bookstore. Who knew a gold star could help make dreams come true? 😉

What mind hacks do you use to keep you moving on your goals when you’d rather do something else?

Hangover? The Day After Rejection

April 4, 2018 By Rhonda Zatezalo 1 Comment

It’s Wednesday. Hump Day. Mid-week slump day.

Normally I don’t have trouble with the middle of the week. I haven’t worked 9-5 at an outside office since 2013. For five years I’ve been running my own business, and while I don’t often cut myself slack, hump day is a bit easier when the commute is just downstairs.

Today’s different though. It’s April 4^th, spring has sprung, but there’s snow on the ground—again— and there wasn’t when I filled the bird feeders yesterday. In fact yesterday it was a cool drizzle that felt like spring. Tease.

Yesterday. That’s a big part of why today is off. I feel hungover, but didn’t drink. Maybe I should have. I had a lot of hope riding on a short story I’d submitted. Yesterday I got the rejection note. It wasn’t even a real note, just a form email saying my story didn’t “fit” the anthology, and good luck wishes for finding a home for it. (I admit, I’m a bit spoiled with the feedback I’ve gotten on other pieces, so this was anti-climactic.)

When I got the note yesterday, I was 770 words into the 1,000 I needed to write for the day. When I opened the email, I didn’t think it was results. The subject line said update. I figured they were taking longer to get through all the submissions and were politely letting us know. So. Not. Prepared. for the rejection.

It threw off my writing groove. I wandered around, felt a bit lost, created a twitter graphic, and went outside in the drizzle to fill the feeders. I listened to the birds and came back inside.

I’d like to say I came in full of determination, but I didn’t. I sat down at my desk as lost as I’d been when I left. I know rejection is part of my job as a writer, but sometimes it’s tougher than others. My husband was worried about me, wondering how to help. He was disappointed too. He loved the story and thought it would be picked up. I could tell he was unsure what I needed every time he turned his chair to check on me and then returning to his own screen without saying a word. It was part of the reason I’d wandered. I didn’t want him to worry. *I* didn’t know what I needed, so what could I tell him?

Now, here I was, back in front of the computer, manuscript open in Scrivener. Unsure what to do next, I read the last sentence I’d written. Then I just started typing. When I finally hit a break in the scene, I looked at the word count box that hovers at the edge of my screen. It said 1,436. I’d almost doubled my words in that time.

I could have kept going, but it was a good place to stop, with an opening that would be easy to pick up next time. And dinner needed to be made. (BTW- The gluten-free chicken parmesan turned out great, and I’d never made it before. Win!)

Back to today though. Today is yucky. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I don’t want to work. I’m tired and achy, and though some of that is period related, I know a lot of it is the emotional bruising of getting your hopes dashed.

Rejection in any form sucks.

I knew I’d be dealing with it a lot in the career I’d chosen. Along the way I’ve worried that I couldn’t withstand it, that I would quit. I’ve been working on this book on and off for about two and a half years. I’ve wanted to quit, wanted to trash it, take the easy way out, but the story won’t let go. The worlds I’ve created live and they refuse to die. I will finish this book— most likely this month— and then I will revise it.

And then I’ll shop around for agents. Opening myself up for more rejection. Why?

Because at my core, I’m a writer. I prove it to myself over and over, and this post is just another form of that proof. See, as much as I am glad you’re here reading this, I can’t say I wrote it FOR you, dear reader. I wrote it with the intention of you reading it, but I wrote it for me.

It’s an act of defiance, an act of love, and an act of self-care. In all the times I’ve been lost, hurting, alone, or just low, writing has been what’s kept me sane(-ish).

I’m glad you’re here for the journey, for reading the high points and the low. For celebrating with me, and commiserating. Now I need to get back to the story, finish book one, so I can put out the call for beta readers.

Onward.

New Fiction Coming Soon!

February 26, 2018 By Rhonda Zatezalo Leave a Comment

I’ve written a lot of new fiction over the past year. Many of the pieces have yet to be published. Last year was focused on writing and exploring my craft. This year will be focused on publishing. Of course, that still means I’ll be writing—more than ever—but now you’ll have more opportunities to explore the stories I’m creating. So where can you find them? Soon there will be several ways to get your eyes on my work.

Patreon

Yes, I’m finally launching a Patreon Page. There, for just a dollar or more per month, you’ll have access to short stories, snippets, and flash fiction. At higher donations you can get access to my art, handmade jewelry, or get involved in the creative process. I’m still working through the details of the reward tiers. I’m planning to launch at the end of March in celebration of my 42nd birthday. There will be a special free download for everyone who pledges in the first 30 days. If you aren’t familiar with Patreon, it’s based on the concept of artists having a patron to support their work. It allows for people to support multiple creatives, and for creatives to get their work out to many patrons. It’s a wonderful platform.

Email Newsletter

In addition to Patreon, I’ll be sending out a newsletter once a month with updates to current projects, personal news, and the occasional look at upcoming projects. The newsletter will be just to keep people updated as to what’s going on, but there might be an occasional story snippet or poll on an idea. Sign up here or in the pop-up box.

Twitter

I’ve steadily moved away from Facebook towards Twitter. I find Facebook to be a decent place to check in with friends, but I’ve found a great community of writers and readers on Twitter. You can find me there @rhondazatezalo. I tweet about current events, stories, things I love and of course, my photogenic pets.

Anthologies, Magazines, etc.

I currently have a few pieces of short fiction out on submission. I’ll know if they’ve been accepted for publication it the next month or two. If they are, I’ll let you know where you can pick them up via the newsletter or the website.

And just where is Vargen in all of this?

Coming.

Book one of Vargen is currently sitting with a developmental editor. It’s not yet finished. I want to make it the best story possible. Hence the editor. Some of you know this, but for the many that don’t, a developmental editor looks at the story as a whole piece and helps eliminate plot holes or continuity errors. They also help make sure each part of the story is being told from the right character’s point of view. I’ll working to finish up the novel in the next few months. Then I’ll be querying agents and who knows where things will go from there.

Wild Portal Child is loose in the world as part of the GenCon anthology, Missing Pieces. The eBook version will be part of the reward tier for my Patrons. If you can’t wait to become a sponsor of my Patreon page, or you just want the very first published version, you can pick up a copy of Missing Pieces Vol. 8 here. This is an affiliate link, which means I’ll get a tiny compensation if you buy it through the link. Otherwise all proceeds go to the publisher.

Follow Cheyaron (and Werner) from Wild Portal Child as they find (or lose) their way to into Book one. I have a series of short stories planned for my Patrons. I may make the stories into a collection that can be purchased on Amazon, but that’s a long ways down the road.

Oh yeah, this blog…

I’d love to say I’ll be posting regularly from now on, but yeah, life gets in the way of my best intentions. I’ll post blogs when the mood hits me, or I have things to say, or when there’s news to share. I’ll try to remember to put a link in the newsletters about new blog posts. They will be pushed to both Twitter and my author page on Facebook, so if you follow in either place, you’ll know when there’s a new blog.

I’m still publishing articles for the welding industry and you can find the latest ones on the website. As I move to more published fiction, the articles won’t be featured as prominently on the site, but they will be there.

That’s it for now. I have a lot coming down the pipeline so stay tuned, sign up for the newsletter, hit me up on Twitter, and watch for fun and prizes that will come with the Patreon launch.

Cheers!

Rhonda